I stood there, frozen. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My stomach started turning and my head began 2 spin. I clenched the cell phone in my hand and I could feel the sweat from my palms moistening it. "Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe the text message was intended for someone else". That was all I could think to console myself. Those words were going through my head but my gut was telling me otherwise. The funny thing about this whole situation is that I wasn't even snooping. I had taken his cell phone to the insurance company to get it replaced because it was having technical problems, and coincidently, it went off while in my possession. Ain't that a bitch? I won't say that I don't occasionally snoop. I think that the majority of us do, even if it's on different levels. Some say it's because we're insecure, but I'll just say it's being careful, and leave it at that. It's not about me, it's about him. If he were trustworthy I wouldn't feel the need to sometimes watch my back. At this moment I got caught off guard because I wasn't watching my back. I actually believed our marriage was in a good place.
Good morning My Love. I know you haven't been able to come see me because you're a busy man. I wish we could be closer so we could see each other more. I loved that we were able to spend some time chatting online yesterday afternoon. I enjoyed every minute of it and I hope you enjoyed me perfomance for you on the webcam.
My Love?!! Chatting online?!! Performance on webcam?!! RED FLAG- When I called his office yesterday afternoon his secretary told that me he must not have been feeling well because he was locked in his office all afternoon. RED FLAG-My daughter was doing homework on the computer yesterday afternoon and said to me "Mommy, that's weird, Daddy's online". This was surprising to her because, unless it's work related, my husband is hardly ever on the computer. I still couldn't believe it. After all the things we had been through. After having given him numerous "second chances". How could he do this to me, again?
One of the reasons he always gets caught is because he's a man, hence an idiot. Men get in over their heads and they become careless. The get so wrapped up in situations (a piece of fresh ass) that they forget to cover their tracks. I have a very special virtue, which is patience. When I want to get to the root of something I can be cold and calculating. Some say that I should have worked for the C.I.A. There's nothing that will stop me from finding the truth to questions. I say the truth because although there's always an answer, it isn't always the truth. There's the answer we as women try to sell ourselves in order to justify our man's actions. We'll see the evidence of cheating right in front of us and choose to look the other way. There is the answer that they give to us, which is always bullshit. They'll give us some sob story about how the condom we found in their car belonged to his boy, and we'll accept it and choose to look the other way. Then there is the TRUTH. This only comes about after thorough investigation. In order to do this you have to step out of your body and look at the facts as an unbiased a third party. This is the most difficult part, which us why many women are unsuccessful at finding the truth. It requires repressing emotions and that is almost impossible with the rush that we experience in this type of situation. It requires you acting as if you know nothing and looking into his cheating eyes as you would have on any given day, until you have gathered enough information to confront him. Most of all, it requires you being prepared to discover truths that hurt.
To be continued…
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